July 11, 2011

Operas as summarized by the lyrics of "Ashes to Ashes"

Die Meistersinger von Nürnberg: Do you remember a guy that's been in such an early song?

Licht: I heard a rumor from Ground Control.

Moses und Aron: They got a message from the action man.

Der Freischütz:
Aennchen: I'm happy; hope you're happy, too.
Don Giovanni: I've loved all I needed to love; sordid details following.

Elektra: The shrieking of nothing is killing.

Madama Butterfly: Just pictures of Jap girls in synthesis.

La Bohème: I ain't got no money.

Samson et Dalila: I ain't got no hair.

Götterdämmerung: I'm hoping to kick, but the planet—it's glowing.

Thaïs:
Thaïs: Strung out in heaven's high!
Athanaël: Hitting an all-time low.
Tannhäuser: Time and again I tell myself, "I'll stay clean tonight."

The Merry Widow: I'm stuck with a valuable friend.

The Midsummer Marriage: One flash of light, but no smoking pistol.

Mefistofele: I never done good things.

Albert Herring: I never done bad things.

Der fliegende Holländer: I never did anything out of the blue.

The Ice Break: Want an axe to break the ice.

Tosca: Want to come down right now.

Wozzeck: My mother said, to get things done, you better not mess with Major Tom.

2 comments:

Zerbinetta said...

This made me laugh. A lot. But I humbly suggest that "Want an axe to break the ice" would also be an excellent fit for Jenufa.

Jesse said...

Hilarious!